Movie Review: The Cooties 2014
"A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives."
First of all, why did Elijah Wood made this movie? Why did he enter on it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Or not. I know his company produce this movie and I know it earn less than 50.000 dollars plus 200K from foreign lands With a cast that size it was a box office flop. But it's was made to go video-on-demand by Lionsgate so I don't know. Well, don't know, don't care.
Now, for the movie...
There isn't much to be said about it. You've got Clint (Elijah Wood) a horror writer wannabe, returns to his old town to become a replacement teacher in a school he once been. There he mets his high school crush Lucy (Allison Pill) but discovers that she is dating Wade (Rainn Wilson). At the same time you've got this girl who eats a chicken nugget which has been tainted (Mcdonalds is evil I tell you). She laters becomes ill and bits other kids (well they deserve it because they are spoilt brats... darn) but also Clint. They all became sick but Clint does not. Then there is mayhem. Several staff, principal and teachers are rapidly killed by the infected chidlren. Only 7 grown ups escape and hid from the children.
Later they escape to the music room and they also find a child who has not turn into a blood sucking zombie. They later find that this infection only contaminate children who are not yet in puberty. Afterwards they escape the house with the help of the Samurai Janitor and find out that the United States is burning and children everywhere are killing grown ups... Later they found out the reason for the infection and escape town to try to built a vacine.
This movie is not that good. Boring and something that someone has already done before. Zombies are getting a lot of movies lately and this is one more of the same. The only redeeming quality is the introduction of children zombie and some how a comedy zombie movie. Usually some subjects are taboo for the filmmakers or at most are not that worth talking because of controversy. Sometimes they try and fail.
In the movie - IT follows we are dealing with a monster who are following and killing someone wo has sex and so a person "infected" by it must fuck someone else to pass the "problem". Maybe is an allegory to AIDS or to teenage sex or even to now banal act of love making. The new Star Wars has another taboo - a black guy and a guatemalan and a woman are the stars of the show. That upset some people but despise that hatred are you thinking that someone who is fan of star wars is not going to see it? I say he will. But if that happened in a another movie do you think the same apply? I think yes.
Not going all racist and shit but most people who are into "Geek" subjects like star wars, online gaming, boardgaming (or even my genre of music metal) are white people. Those are you target audiance. So the new Star Wars take a leap of faith with this one. But, if you are really aware of your surroudings check the toys for the new Stars Wars. Most of them are either the evil guy, stormtrooper, the girl or old star wars movies. There aren't that much about the black guy. Coincidence? I think not. Because I want to see the movie and I don't care about the black guy or whatever. But buying a toy? I am sorry Disney but even you understand marketing ;)
End of An Apart
Now, returning to the movie in question - this time you've got children zombies. Nice one. Maybe is an allegory of what is happening with chidlren. They are freaking zombies, doing what they want and not caring about the parents and teachers. That is happening. Why? Because nowadays most children are hyper-active. Or are going to be. They have contact with technology from the early days and maybe that is alianeting the children. I don't know.
Well, I enjoy the movie but it's one of those movies you will watch it, share a laugh or a smirk, sigh a bit and then be done with it. You won't remember after a couple of days and probably never going to watch it again...
I rate it 3.5 out of 10