Movie Review: The Cooties 2014

Synopsis
"A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives."


First of all, why did Elijah Wood made this movie? Why did he enter on it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Or not. I know his company produce this movie and I know it earn less than 50.000 dollars plus 200K from foreign lands With a cast that size it was a box office flop. But it's was made to go video-on-demand by Lionsgate so I don't know. Well, don't know, don't care.

Now, for the movie...

There isn't much to be said about it. You've got Clint (Elijah Wood) a horror writer wannabe, returns to his old town to become a replacement teacher in a school he once been. There he mets his high school crush Lucy (Allison Pill) but discovers that she is dating Wade (Rainn Wilson). At the same time you've got this girl who eats a chicken nugget which has been tainted (Mcdonalds is evil I tell you). She laters becomes  ill and bits other kids (well they deserve it because they are spoilt brats... darn) but also Clint. They all became sick but Clint does not. Then there is mayhem. Several staff, principal and teachers are rapidly killed by the infected chidlren.  Only 7 grown ups escape and hid from the children. 

Later they escape to the music room and they also find a child who has not turn into a blood sucking zombie. They later find that this infection only contaminate children who are not yet in puberty. Afterwards they escape the house with the help of the Samurai Janitor and find out that the United States is burning and children everywhere are killing grown ups... Later they found out the reason for the infection and escape town to try to built a vacine.

Analysis
This movie is not that good. Boring and something that someone has already done before. Zombies are getting a lot of movies lately and this is one more of the same. The only redeeming quality is the introduction of children zombie and some how a comedy zombie movie. Usually some subjects are taboo for the filmmakers or at most are not that worth talking because of controversy. Sometimes they try and fail. 

An Apart
In the movie - IT follows we are dealing with a monster who are following and killing someone wo has sex and so a person "infected" by it must fuck someone else to pass the "problem". Maybe is an allegory to AIDS or to teenage sex or even to now banal act of love making. The new Star Wars has another taboo - a black guy and a guatemalan and a woman are the stars of the show. That upset some people but despise that hatred are you thinking that someone who is fan of star wars is not going to see it? I say he will. But if that happened in a another movie do you think the same apply? I think yes. 

Not going all racist and shit but most people who are into "Geek" subjects like star wars, online gaming, boardgaming (or even my genre of music metal) are white people. Those are you target audiance. So the new Star Wars take a leap of faith with this one. But, if you are really aware of your surroudings check the toys for the new Stars Wars. Most of them are either the evil guy, stormtrooper, the girl or old star wars movies. There aren't that much about the black guy. Coincidence? I think not. Because I want to see the movie and I don't care about the black guy or whatever. But buying a toy? I am sorry Disney but even you understand marketing ;)

End of An Apart

Now, returning to the movie in question - this time you've got children zombies. Nice one. Maybe is an allegory of what is happening with chidlren. They are freaking zombies, doing what they want and not caring about the parents and teachers. That is happening. Why? Because nowadays most children are hyper-active. Or are going to be. They have contact with technology from the early days and maybe that is alianeting the children. I don't know.

Well, I enjoy the movie but it's one of those movies you will watch it, share a laugh or a smirk, sigh a bit and then be done with it. You won't remember after a couple of days and probably never going to watch it again...

I rate it 3.5 out of 10

Movie Review: In the Mouth of Madness 1994

This is what I think of the person who translated the name of that movie

In the Mouth of Madness is the last movie in the trilogy films made by John Carpenter. Interesting or not. The translate name for portuguese (from Portugal no Brazil) is called "A Biblia de Satanás" and translating that title to english is something like... Satan's Bible. WTF........ I mean the only way I can explain this is this image over here.....

Why?? This has nothing to do with Satan or Christian Religion. This is based on  Lovecraft - the tile at least is dedicated to "At the Mountains of Madness". I am very dissapointed. Even the brazlians translated "À Beira da Loucura" which could be roughly translated as the name in english. RIDICULOUS.


Well now for the movie...

The story stars in the end... yeah right. The story begins the psychiatric Dr Wrenn (David Warner) talks with John (Sam Neill - Jurasic Park!) for the reasons of his "visit" to the looney bin - Then the real story begins.

John is an insurance investigator taking a new case about a claim made by a publishing company. As he sits at lunch he is attacked by man wielding after being asked if has read Sutter Cane. The man is then shot by the police. Later on he meets with the publishing director Jackson Harglow  who asks if he can investigate  the dissapearance of the most famous horror novelist. John and Cane's editor Linda (Julie Carmen) will accompany him.

Well, it seems Sutter Cane is almost unknown and nobody knows where he lives but he sells even more than Stephen King. Funny that the cover of the books remind me of some covers by Richard Laymon books. I can say that the artist is the same.

Moving on to the tale...

Linda explains that the stories of Cane are know to cause disorientation, memory loss and paranoia. (He is better than King - probably Lovecraft). Of course our "hero" doesn't believe a word saying that this all must be a way to sell more books. But nevertheless he must do his job so he bought the books from the author and start reading them. Besides giving nightmares he saw that some of his covers had some strange lines and combining all covers it made a map and this leads him to Hobb's End (the fictional town that appear in Cane books) in New England (where King and Lovecraft stories are set).

As they went Linda experiences some strange phenomena and some strange visions. As they arrive the town looks like in the books but it's deserted. Still Trent thinks that it's all in the publicity stunt. Linda then admits that the dissaperance was indeed a stunt but not the town. John isn't conviced.

They are led into a church to confront Cane and Linda is driven insane and stays in the church with Cane. Supposedly In the Mouth of Madness was going to be the last novel (literally the last novel).

Still John is not convinced until he meets in a bar a man who tells him to leave and commits suicide. He tries to leave the town (because of angry mob) but it seems it goes in a circle and is unable to leave. He then pass out and as he awakes he meets Cane who explains that because of everyone belief on his stories had resulted on the appearance an ancient race (deep ones?) that will eventually reclaim the earth. Cane then reveals that John Trent is just a character from his last book and he must follow the plot and return the manuscript to the publish house.

Afterwards he came a portal to the ancient beings. Linda and John flee but Linda stay because she had already read the novel and so was corrupted. During his return he destroys the books thinking that way he would avert the apocalpyse.

He then talks with editor who claims that he never knew a linda and that he had gone alone to retrieve the novel, thing that he had already had done several months before. The book had been on sale for weeks with riots in every major city and a movie is coming out... He is later arrested after murdering one reader of the novel 

Then we are return to the present time as Dr Wrenn judges that John Trent his halucinating. Trent wakes next morning to discover the asylum abandoned with blood everwhere. Then we hear the radio annoucing that the world is being attack by monsters and suicides and mass murderers are common. He enters a movie theater to watch the movie and sees himself as the main character. The movie ends with him laughing and crying saying that everything was real.

- What I didn't enjoy? Not much. I really enjoy the novel. I would enjoy seeing more of the beasts but if you read Lovecraft is understadable that they are only mention. Undoubtly this is a Lovecraftian movie. 

This is a movie inside a movie. So even if you think the characters, setting and special effects are not that good you can think - probably that's a critic of books made into movies. Haha.

Nevertheless, an overall excelent movie with good characters - at least the main character. The rest are just there following, helping or hindering the main character.

The main question remains.. IS this reality or not?

Interesting or not, people either love the movie or just plain hated. Strange. To me, 8 out 10. Will see it again (along the rest of trilogy of interconnected movies in about 10 years).

Movie Review: The Last Survivors or The Well 2014

It seems the movie has two names... The Last Survivors or The Well.

Synopsis

A teenage girl fights to protect the last working well in a drought-stricken valley from a greedy water baron.

This little film that spans 1h40m made me think about the quality of the movies they are making nowadays. I mean, anyone can make a movie (well not everyone) but with a small budget you can make a good movie. 

These actors are not that famous but that didn't made the movie bad. The main character portrayed by Haley Lu Richardson is undoubtly the only one worth mention as a character bulding. Why I say this? Because with never learn much about the other characters.

So the story is this. There is this girl who is trying to protect his almost dead friend (kidney problems) and at the same time protect the water supply and food. Bear in mind that we are in a desert valley many miles across with ten year drought. So, this girl not only do that but also gives water to a kid in another "farm" and at the same time is searching something in wreackage automobiles to make a plane work.

Some spoilers ahead...

Well there is also antogonists. First we've got a guy who is draining all the water from the valley, there is also is vain ginger hair daughter and a priest who sees death people as the only way out. Ah, there are also several mask guys who look like Sand-people (Star wars reference)

So, as this guy steals water other farms either go away (they never do) or they join this evil guy who supposedly is shelting everyone. Of course he isn't...

Ah, there is also a guy who kisses the girl but she is not that into him and brushes him away. 

Interestingly or not his family tries to join the party but they are killed with his exception. Later on when the gang storms Kendal's house (That's the main protagonist name btw) they kill the kidney guy and afterwards she kills the priest and two sand people (who turn out to be her lover(?). Why in the world He turn sides so fast is strange...

The ending is a showdown between Kendal and the Water guy and his vain gingerhead daughter (btw, she is evil as she is pretty). She kills them both.

The ending, we know she fix the plane but we never know where she goes with it. 

Several complains... 

-It's now 10 years after the last rain. How did they survive so long without food? There are a bunch of people laying around. How did they survive?

- We really don't know anything about anyone except Kendall.

- Where was that water guy and family before they start stealing water and killing people? Why wait 10 years?

- Why the hair of Kendal is perfect clean? Even after the water run out?

- Knowing that they were evil why people choose to join them?

- What happened to rest of the world?

There are some other questions I would make about this movie but I can't remember now...

About the characters - Really enjoy Kendall. A female protagonist with balls. She can kill with a Katana, Axe, Shotgun and pocketknife.  She is scared (closing her eyes several times whey the bad guys were closed) but also brave. She is tought but have a strong heart. Well thinking of it... I can really think one thing bad about her.

She is also gorgeous. Well she and the evil ginger head are both gorgeous.

Btw, no nudity but some blood elements. Good movie. Would give 6.5/10.

Movie Review: Lost After Dark 2014

In this clever homage to 80's slasher films, a group of teenagers looking to party get stranded when their ride breaks down, and end up being stalked by a cannibalistic killer.

This movie is cleary a homage to 80's horror/slasher films. A group of teenagers looking to party rob a school bus but are stranded near a house where a gruesome homicides had happen several years before. 

There are 4 boys and 4 girls and the ones you think are the main characters are not. Well, there aren't any main characters in my opinion and better yet there aren't any likable. The characters do what you are expecting them to do - if you have seen many slasher movies from the 80's with their predictable plots.

The principal (Robert Patrick - Walking Dead) was the only character portrayed by a famous guy.

The evil guy is just another freak of nature capable of withstanding massive blows and still don't die. 

The story it's what we would expect from a slasher movie and so it hasn't much room to evolve. The story focus on each character right before they are about to die. There are archetypes of of the heavy metal girlie, the nerd guy(fat obvisouly), the athlete, the know it all, the virginal one, the goof around and even the black one. 

The effects/design are good. The retro looks and fashion. The cars the songs (except when the Black Guy puts some music that didn't exist in that year but that's not enough to say it was not well done). The gore and action scenes are good as well. Always the creepy presence and the abandonend farmhouse was another nice touch. There is always a dread.


But all is not good. The characters behave like in the 80's and do some crucial and dumb errors. They could have left the farm several types but it seems they were bound to the place because they comeback to the house after two of them had died. They even split in a big house... ai ai... One thing I enjoy was that the first half hour the main character or the one we thought was the main character dies. Intense.

Really like when The Princess Archtype break the neck of her puppy. Awesome. Don't worry she didn't cry to much because she was killed 10 second later.

Don't worry... They are all friends in the end.... But where is the dog? Maybe he Was killed...

In my opinion where is the nudity parts? Every single movie from the eighties with a horror (and even more with a slasher) theme had some boobs or sex. If this was a homage then it should had at least some.. Oh well.

I would give a rating of 4.5 out of 10. It's one of those movies you watch and forget and will never see it again.

Movie Review: Z for Zachariah

You've got only three characters. John Loomis  (Chiwetel Ejiofor), Caleb (Chris Pine) and Ann  Burden (Margot Robbie) - look at the name of ann.... Ann Burden... A  Burden? . And we didn't need anybody  else. Btw, this is based on a book but it's a bit  different.

In the book there are TWO characters (Mr. Loomis and Ann) and Mr. Loomis is what we call evil. In the end Ann escapes the valley and Loomis was left alone. The movie it's a different. I think the approach of the movie is also a good one, remember that the writer had died so the screenplay was done by someone else. Maybe they wanted a new approach... don't know.

Well the story begins with Ann discovering and  helping Mr Loomis who was taking a bath in a  radioactive pool. They start taking off, she even make a move on him but he said that they should wait because things could become awkward. 

Afterwards another man appears Caleb. A religious guy like Ann and they start to become very close with Mr Loomis became envious. After a drunk night when Mr Loomis and Ann was getting naked he felt asleep... hey don't blame him. It has happen to everyone...  So, obvisouly she sleeps with Caleb (?!?). 

Well, they were builting a wheel to put on a waterfall and have electricty. When they are finish and Caleb is being hoisted by Mr Loomis he slips twice. On the second time they look each other in the eyes for a couple of seconds before the image fades to black. The next image Mr Loomis tells Ann that Caleb has left. The ending deals with Ann opening the refrigerator and seeing it empty but with a light.

So, what happens with Caleb? Nobody knows. Not even the director I bet. Mr Loomis killed Caleb or Caleb left knowing that Mr Loomis could have killed him if he wanted and so he was the better man for Ann?

What about Ann? There are a couple of theories...
- Ann knew Mr Loomis had killed Caleb (she knew he could be a dangerous person when he force unto her (not doing nothing in the but...))? or the second theory because as she open the fridge she saw light but also empty. Is this an implication that the food store there was gone taken by Caleb and Mr Loomis did not kill Caleb?

There a lot of theories and none are wrong or correct for that matter. A Schrödinger's cat situation...

Talking about cats. What happened to the Dog Faro that was present in the beginning of the movie? It just dissappears after Mr Loomis appear. Maybe it's a way to think - we only care about animals until a human catchs our eyes... (or maybe I am over thinking it).

If I had to give a rating... I would give 6 of 10. Good story and charaterization. Nice setting but unfortunally they didn't gave much information of what happened or why. Good ending. I think it for a movie with one hour and half it could have much more interaction between the characters. It felt long. 

Movie Review: The Inhabitants 2015

Title: The Inhabitants 2015 
Time: 1h38
Genre: Horror

Synopsis
A young couple gets more than they bargained for when they buy an historic bed and breakfast in New England only to discover that the old house is hiding a dark secret within its walls.

Review
This tale has only two characters. There are others who appear in the story but are almost irrelevant. 
The first part of the movie is focused on Jessica (Elise Couture-Stone) and the second part on Dan (Michael Reed).

First of all I must say that this book has some cliches. Some of them seen quite often... Some city folk buy a country house with a strange past and start to possess/infect/kill... There also some screet rooms. Oh... the female is the "bad" guy. But....

A married couple buys an old bed & breakfast from an old lady who is retiring - she is a little crazy. So as they start to arrange the house the husband has to go to the city on work. Jessica start to uncover some hidden things about the house and it's possessed by a witch that had live since the XVII (hanged for killing children).As Dan returns he realizes that something is strange with his wife. As he starts to uncover some mysteries (one of them that the old owner had some cameras in each room). But Dan realizes that probably the cameras where not that to spy on the women who stay there but to tape the witch as she attack. 

Since she possessed Jessica  (probably because the old owner was removed from the house) did the witch possessed/killed the other women? 

I think this book is weak. Weak because with 1h40m long it should had more tension, more story on the characters and on the house. This movie should have been at most 50m. Probably less. 


In a scale of ten I will give three (3) because I didn't enjoy Jessica or Dan. Well, I liked the Dog. I hope he survived.

TV Series Review: Zoo - Season One

Season One - 13 Episodes of 40m each.

Synopsis




For centuries, mankind has been the dominant species. We've domesticated animals, locked them up, killed them for sport. But a series of recent events seem to suggest, all across the globe, animals have decided no more. And so, we were hired. A team of people from different backgrounds, with different specialties; an expert in animal behavior, a journalist, safari guide, foreign intelligence agent, and a veterinary pathologist. Our task: to find out what is happening with the animals, why it's happening and how to stop it.

This series started alright then went down the hill tumbling and forever and ever hiting in every branch and rock until they ended where they started...  And it's going to have a season 2?

Chloe Tousignan, Jackson Oz, Dr Mitch Morgan, Jamie Campbell, Abraham Kenyatta

This series where based on a book called Zoo by James Patterson (The guy who writes at least 12 books per year). I kid you not. In 2015 he has written 16 books. Well most of them I bet he gives the name and someone else writes. He is criticised for being more of a brand than an author per se. If it has his name then it sells...  At least he tries to protect the bookstores, libraries and paper books. So he is a good guy.

This series are focused on Jackson Oz the son of a outcast scientist that make some strange claims about the behaviour of the animals. He is the partner of Abraham Kenyatta doing some safaris in Africa. There he mets Chloe Tousignan that belongs to the french intelligence, Jamie Campbell a reporter that has fallen from grace and Dr Mitch Morgan who is a veterinary pathologist.

They band together to understand what's happening to the animals. In the beginning some has the opinion that the father of Jackson was right, that the animals were rebelling  what he called the Defiant Pupil. In the other hand Jamie thinks that it's due to a multinational organization called Reiden.

The story itself doesn't evolve that much past the second or third episode. The animals attack someone, they investigate  and see that the animal "disease" is increasing. The rest of the world stands without believing. After some more concentrated attacks from the animals, animals that were mortal enemies, the world starts to believe that maybe something is wrong. The solution from humans? Exterminate.

The season ends in a cliffhanger as the friends band together to try to cure the animals. What's more interesting is that these 13 episodes could have been done in a mini-series of four episodes. The others are fillers.

-Did I enjoy it? 
I watched and that's it. In the beginning I thought that these series had great room to evolve but after seeing the third, fourth and fifth episode I realized that the series were going down a path that happens to most shows that have a continouos  plot. And that's by using fillers that don't had anything to the overal plot. Nevertheless, knowing that it had 13 episodes I stick with it and I hope it could evolve. But it didn't.

- Will I see the second season?
Probably watch the first episode to see if it evolves. I understand that the first season probably didn't had a great budget and that could hindered the show. So, if it's going to be renewed for a second season let's see if it's a revival....


Notable images... Wolves killing everywhere in a prison and of course who could forget of Bats on Antartica.... How in the heck they arrive there? Why weren't they killed by the cold?

Thoughts XXIV - The end of the European Union?

If this was not a tragic event, I tell that this could be a good book on a dystopia... the terrorists attacks on Paris is another dagger in the back of European Union. 

Europe will change. Believe me. I am telling this for years... the nationalist parties are going to rise on europe. Mainly in the Eastern European Union, the nordic countries, Austria, France and Holland.

The unlimited circulation inside Europe will end. The Syrians refugees are going to take the blame by the people (but probably not by the politicians and mass media). The close borders are going to continue. France is not the first. Remember Hungary, Sweden, Croatia, Serbia (even if they are not from EU) and UK.  

UK will leave the European Union. The UK people didn't enjoy being on EU (they aren't even with the Euro) and this is the last drop...

Then, the Front National from France will get some majority and try to leave the Euro, and if that happens, well, when it happens the Euro will fall. Germany will not be able to be on the front of the Euro alone. Every other nation is weak compare to them. The Euro exists because of Germany and France.

Believe me when I tell you... European Union will end in this format at least. Maybe falling to ancient CEE (European Economic Community)

- We are not meant to live in this global community. We are too different. If all european countries have different ideals, heck even inside each country and each political party so why hoping for a global community? This is only the beginning I am afraid....

We are all humans. We are all meant to live. Everyone deserves his place. There is no political party or religion or belief more important than the other. Each of us has a right to express his own ideals... But I Am afraid we are not meant to live in a global community. We are meant to live on this world but each community should try to live within themselves and trade ideas, points of views, goods and other things with every country... But not as this melting pot. Remember Rome. They try to do it. Too blend all religions and political ideas with a single Imperium.... and they felt. This is the second Imperium of Rome... and it will fail. We are too different...

This is my opinion for all it's worth. Many will view it as a nationalist racist why but that's not me. I believe that everyone has the right to live with his own ideas. The problem is the mixing... This is only lead to a dark age or worse... a police state.

Movie Review: Berkshire County

This is a horror movie. No doubt about it.
So, it's Halloween and
After putting the children to bed she answers the door where a little child wearing a pig mask is treat or trick and she is assaulted but escaped.
She ask for help via mobile phone but it's seems this rednecks can screw your mobile phone... I wonder...

A girl called Kylie do a blowjob on a popular guy on school. Of course he taped and told them all around school. Everyone knew including teachers and the girl's mother.

she went to babysit a boy and a girl in a house that look like a castle.


So, what we get is a mansion and a girl and two children are hidden from 3 persons... I don't think no matter how big the house they would eventually be found but...

The characterization... well I don't know. I didn't enjoy the main character and her relation with the boy who filmed her doing a blowjob and now wants her help because he is on a verge of being expelled. 

What I didn't enjoy as well was the ending.... too darn easy for the girl and what was the purpose of the pig guys? They make meat with people? Probably... Why not kill the victims on the spot? Why go to that rich house ?

Nevertheless, an entertaining a hour and a half.... see and forget!

Anime Review: Isuca (Winter 2015)

The Story: Shinichirou decides to look for a job in order to pay his rent, and his teacher suggests that he work for someone at their house doing housekeeping; however, the person who hired him was Sakuya, a girl who is the 37th head of the Shimazu family, and her job is to exorcise and eliminate unwanted creatures. Shinichirou accidentally releases one of the creatures that Sakuy
a captures and they cooperate to catch it. A story of comedic creature hunting begins!

This tale is one more tale about a boy getting a harem of females, because he has some capability that as he kisses one female they became stronger to defeat monsters that threated our existence.

So, basicaly all episodes (12 of them) have the same plot with some differences...

Sakuya the chief of a family (barely 15?- flat-chested) is a huntress and most episodes treats the boy (shincihirou) badly, hurting with words and scorn until they are in a tight spot where he has to kiss her so she can destroy the demons. She is seen naked every episode

Then, there is a voloptous girl (Sakuya cousin) who basicaly is a robot with no grasp of feellings and will do anything to make Shinichirou do her bidding. She is seen naked a couple of times..

Then there is Tamako a beast that serves Shinichirou because he saves her from Sakuya. She is a cat thing and most episodes his naked.

So that's it... what enemies? Sometimes is a randomly Youkai but most episodes is a blond girl that uses western magic... she is a homunculus. (Search the internet for the definition).

So, what does this series have that is good? Almost nothing...

Story - 2/10 There wasn't any. As I said, The main Antagonist  (Isuca) is there to make Sakuya suffer but she is enrolled by someone, who is being hinted as Sakuya's father but the last episode ends with a... well you can't even called that a open ending. It's a no ending...

Sound - 5/10

Character - 2/10 - They were there... That's it.

Graphic / Art  5/10 - Not to bad but nothing great. Too simple...

Enjoyment - Overall - Waste of time. Don't watch it. Or watch it if you want to see some boobs... But there are better series for that.