Movie Review: Feast (2005) October Horror Fest (10)
I really enjoy this one, I enjoy so much that I am watching the second and third movie. Supposedly this is the UnRated edition. Don't understand what's Rated....
Main Characters - Or At Least Characters
Job: Not Likely
Ocuppation: Town Jackass
Life Expectancty: Dead by Dawn
Name: Harley Mom
Fun Fact Robbing Bar in Ten Minutes
Life Expectancty: Wild Card
Name: Hot Wheels
Ocuppation: Selling Fireworkers to 7th Graders
Life Expectancy: They Wouldn't kill a cripple, would they??
Ocuppation: Beer Guy & Part-Time Host at Red Lobster
Life Expectancy: Losers and Dorks go First... he's both
|Tuffy - Aka Heroine 2|
Name: Beer Guy
Fun Fact: Blew Mick Jagger... recently
Life Expectancy: May be dead alread
Fun Fact: Blew Mick Jagger... recently
Life Expectancy: May be dead already
Name: Jason Mewes
Life Expectancy: Already Surpassed Expectations
Fun Fact: Shot 4 Times, Stabbed 6 times, Bit by 1 Squirrel
Life Expectancy: Horrifying Death in 70 minutes
Occupation: Career Waitress
Job: Single Mom
Life Expectancy: Expects Nothing from Life.
Fun Fact: Has never had Fun
|Honey Pie & Coach|
Vibe: Mean, Stoned and Horny
Life Expectancy: Regular or Extra Crispy
Name: Honey Pie
Fun Fact: Dying to get out of town
Life Expectancy: May get her wish
Occupation: Tax Break
Skill: Can Fit into tight Spaces
Life Expectancy: A Wonderful, Full Life
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Life Expectancy: Pretty fucking good.
In the first 10minutes we get all the characters in the show. They even throw us some information on each one. I really enjoy that.
So, Bossy if fucking Tuffy but she is not enjoying. Then the Hero appear warning them of some monsters. He says they are four beasts. When they ask him who the hell is he he says that he is the guy who he saving their ass, just before being dragged out of the window by one of the monsters. 1 Gone 13 To Go. Vet is gone - 12 to go. Jason Mewes was killed by mistake by the Bartender - 11 to go. Harley Mom got her leg severed... almost 10 to go. Gore everywhere...
Okay, another character appears so They are now 12 (if Harley is still alive).
Occupation: Wear Tanktop, Tote Shotgun, Save Day
Life Expectancy: Hopefully better than the last hero.
Soon afterwards they are all downstairs until they Tuffy realizes that she locked her son in a closet in the first floor. When they arrive - well Cody was eaten by the monster. 11 to Go. Btw, Tuffy has some big breats... OK Honey Pie as some big titties as well, even Harley Mom - They have chosen women based on size of breasts? Interesting way...
OK Harley is dead - 11 to go. After watching 30 minutes, let me try to guess who's going to survive - The Heroine, Tuffy and Bozo - In doubt of Honey Pie.
Then they kill the little animal and put it outside to instill fear on the beats. Of course it didn't work - they are animals... After one of them ate the little animal they... fucked and produced another little animal.
Then some flashbacks on who the Hero and Heroine past. The beer man who had previously been puke upon is washing and larvas are coming out. Something is growing inside me and then a beast outside grab his eye and he passes out.
Sometime later they try to go upstairs to use the radio, it seems nobody on the bar has a mobile phone. They had another idea, to draw the beasts one place and some other escape the other way.
Well, they put the Harley chick with some thing similar to a bomb to drew the monsters out.It seems she is not dead after all but the Bossman says that she is dead and the beasts take her away then the beast deep throats her... WTF, talk about some weird shit. Then they blew her up and the other little guy dies.
The Bossman then threats Bozo saying that their story should be the same - she was dead. Bozo tries to take Bossman's weapon from him. Bozo mistakenly shots the Heroine and the beast kills her.
The Mom now has a new name...
Name: Heroine 2
Occupation: Childless Mother
Fun Fact: Deailing with the loss fairy well
Life Expectancy: Let's all hope for the best this time.
Then the beer guy dies with something coming out of him - imagine the movie alien. Then we've got alive Heroine 2, Honey Pie, Bozo and his brother Hot Wheels, Bartender, Bossman and Grandma - Even the beer guy is not dead.The Honey Pie escapes the bar and grab a truck and escapes. It seems the monsters have a shell and we finally see one up close. They are ugly as hell...Finally, after so much suffering Beer Man dies but the Heroine kils one of the monster just before he kills the Bartender. After bashing it's teeth out she puts her hand through her mouth and rips hs earth from the mouth. Can't seem to understand what happened to Grandma.
The only ones to leave are Bozo and his brother Hot Wheels and Heroine 2 aka Mom. They leave in a car to the farm where the daughter of the first heroine lives - but the car breaks down and the heroine leaves the car to push it and then they leave the place. Oh, don't forget Honey Pie.
After the credits we see Grandma leaving the fridge alive but a monster appears.
Did I enjoy this movie? Yes. I did. It has some cool monsters, it has some thrilling emotions as the siege is done by the creatures. We care about each character and root for him or her. They evolve as characters and we never learn who is safe or not. Very interesting. Let us see what comes out of Feast 2 and Feast 3. If you enjoy sci-fi movies with monsters this is it. A lot of blood. Don't expect sex or nudity. The Three women have some deep cleavage, we even see a woman in a bra and some forms because of the blood. But that's it. There is the sex between humans (we see nothing) and the only part I could say it's unrated it's when Harley Mom gets a deep-throat form a monster and then he comes in her mouth. But all in all, this action scene has about 3 seconds.